Chatty Lass

The perfume which has stood the test of time (to me) - Alluring, musky, ethereal.

My thoughts are all over the place, my feelings are like a batter which is not mixed evenly, with clumps along the sides of the bowl.

I apologise in advance, if this post not all primped up to the likes of my previous entries.

My conscience is clear as I am putting this down in writing.

There were times where I have talked about people, behind their backs. I am guilty of that. I cannot write about this without being honest about myself, because I have pledged to tell the truth at all times, no matter what the costs might be.

But, never have I - intentionally, with premeditated motives - intend to stumble and bring down someone by slandering or libeling.

Identifications first. What is gossiping or what is the act of gossip?

According to Proverbs 6:16-19,

• Gossip is having a false tongue.
  You speak untruths, even when you know the whole wide picture. You are clear on the truth, yet you choose to sing your OWN song about the whole matter.
  
  
• Gossip is to have a heart fabricating hurtful schemes.
  Meaning to say, it is intended. It is on purpose. It was planned in advance - the whole story outlined, even hitting the highlights with feigned emotions.
  
  
• Gossiping is to be a false witness that launches forth lies.
  
  
• Gossiping is for any person sending forth contentions.
  You want to cause strife, promote division. You hate to see anyone having good relationships and friendships. It angers you, it makes you feel jealous.

Understand this, gossip is destructive.

You can never imagine the extent of hurt hurled to the faces of those at the receiving end. If that person does not get up on the right side of the situation, his/her life was crushed at the tip of your tongue.

This I admit, I have difficulty trusting people. I've said it out loud.

I do not swallow blindly everything that comes out from people's mouth, without double-checking. Sometimes, I triple-check.

So, I hate (Hate is one word in the English language that I use sparingly. Suprisingly, love is another.) people lying to me.

When I find out about it, (trust me) I will not be pleased. One of my principles - The truth is out there and worth pursuing.

Every now and then, people do point out that I do not have a large circle of friends. It is not because I am arrogant, snobbish or anti-social.

I have a tendency to compartmentalize, where I do not share unless I know the person like the back of my hand. After I have dissected you, taken you apart with my deductions and I sum up that you are of no threat, friendship ties may proceed.

However, if my friendship with you has taken a downturn; constrained to puny proportions, surviving just on a need-to-know basis, you might want to analyse yourself and figure out the why.

After bringing this out in the open, I have to add that as much as it hurts (when you stumble upon the truth), forgiveness is essential. For yourself primarily, and the other person.

I have gone through it - struggled with hurt, wrestled with unforgiveness. In the end, I was a bitter, miserable person.

The second I forgave, it was as if a huge weight has been lifted off my chest. It was liberating, my life was spun 180degrees. I was a changed person.

Till today, I remember what I have gone through. Where I am today, the ongoing journey thus far.

I remember them not as sour memories with pangs of hurt crippling my heart, from expanding.

I remember them, to tell you how gossiping can destroy a life. I remember them to let you know I understand your predicament.

I remember them, most importantly to show you that I am still standing and you can overcome it.

P/S: Cui Lin, I received your email. No apologies needed, I am thankful you are making an effort to change. I love you, the amount much more than when we were first friends, about 15 years ago.

The Christians are in a different position from other people who are trying to be good.

They hope, by being good, to please God if there is one; or - if they think there is not - at least they hope to deserve approval from good men.

But, Christians think that any good he (she) does comes from the Christ-life inside him (her).

He (she) does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us.

Melissa: Darling, say 'Thank you, Mama'.

Max: *bents in, looks me straight in the eyes and plants one on my kissers*


I swear, being a mum is so fulfilling. It does also help that my son is amazingly brilliant. *gloats*

Next up, I am going to teach him to say 'I love you'.

If his squashed-in face friend can do it (He needs to work on his pitching, sounds a little off-key), it'll be a piece of cake for Max.

With blogs sprouting overnight, faster than green beans miraculously budding into bean sprouts, it is a no wonder many are turning to blogs as a writing pad to share, show off their latest gizmos and purchases, and announce the what's hot in their lives.

I beg to differ.

I've had friends asking me to do daily updates on my life, post journal-like entries. I declined by politely (but firmly) informing them I do not support their cause in blabbing my personal life to the rest of the world.

Most of the time, I am not too sure if my readers actually take the effort to read between the lines of my writings, comprehend the message I am trying (very hard) to convey and take it to heart.

I have been putting off writing this post for a long time, torn in-between two lovers; 'Should I?' and 'Should I Not?'.

Alas, I linked arms with 'Should I?', exchanged two kisses with him (one on each cheek, muah! muah!) and heaved a sigh of relief.

1. Channel your own, distinctive voice.
   
   It is pointless, of no use, to bust your butt attempting to copy or imitate another person's style of writing.
   
   You may think what you are doing is inconspicuous. Do not be too quick to come to that conclusion.
   
   Even blind Martians can tell that you are being a try-hard. Not to mention, a phony (You are as real as Lindsay Lohan's preposterously large overnight boobs).
   
   Develop your individual sense of writing, a voice of your own instead of snagging others'.
   
   You are probably the last person on Earth anyone should trust with a secret. Chances are, you are a mega blabbermouth.
   
   
2. Big, bombastic words DO NOT make your writings interesting and smart-sounding.
   
   To utilise those words, you need to properly understand the English language, hand-in-hand with blessed creativity to pull off a coherent sentence.
   
   Otherwise, it looks as though you have an incessant yearning to inject variety in your posts. Turning to the faithful ol' Thesaurus, you exchange your mundane words for something more spicy-sounding.
   
   Thing is, the list of words listed are only similiar on a superficial basis.
   
   An example, if you may.
   
   The word gnaw means to bite on or chew persistently.
   
   Saying "I gnawed on my serving of chicken parmigiana today" sounds rather wrong and out-of-place. No doubt it indicates you did perform the act of chewing persistently to digest your food.
   
   The proper usage of the word would be "One of my dog's favourite pastime is to gnaw on a bone."
   
   
3. Simplicity in language is the best.
   
   Now, I only use certain words because they fit into the occasion. They are an accurate depiction of what I am trying to say. Instead of a long-winded sentence, I can sum it up in one word.
   
   Learn this, language is just one facet of the entire writing experience.
   
   An excellent command in language is definitely a plus point.
   
   That said, some of the best books I've read are uncomplicated, simple and yet astonishingly life-changing.
   
   
4. Bring substance into your pennings.
   
   Let's say you have just gone through a whirlwind of things gone wrong; you just suffered a break-up and you are not sure if the light of day will ever shine on you again, your assignment mates are being ninnies and playing refuse to cooperate. You have had enough, and you turn to writing to blow off some steam.
   
   99% of the time, you would begin typing furiously; cursing, ranting while wailing about injustice, calling your mates imbeciles and lazy bums, your former bf/gf a useless piece of crap.
   
   Grow up in maturity, bring depth into your writings.
   
   Do a 101 on how to deal with stone-headed people, or how it has moulded you to be a tougher person in handling sticky situations.
   
   On any given day, it makes you seem like the bigger person (while you try to pick up the pieces or let your fume of fury die off).
   
   
5. Each writing style is unique.
   
   Meaning to say, there is no right or wrong.
   
   James Patterson and Sidney Sheldon are acclaimed best-selling authors. They excel in writing thrillers, political thrillers. Yet, they are as different as light and day.
   
   The spine of the read may be the same (conspiracy theories, attempts to foil the government, FBI solving brutal murders) but I am brought into separate dimensions, looking through the disparate perspectives.
   
   Same case scenario applies to us.
   
   
6. DO NOT brag.
   
   Please, refrain from this.
   
   Do not subject your readers to disgusted barfing.
   
   Praises, accolades, achievements, even exam results should be avoided, at all costs.
   
   Those who have ungraciously and unashamedly done that should be sent to the guillotine.

On an average, humans bathe 2-3 times a day and wash their hands 6-8 times a day (Maybe a little more if we get our hands dirty with chores and odd jobs around the house.).

I was keeping score (for no particular reason).

I shower 4-5 times a day, wash my hands (with soap) almost 20 times a day.

*circles eyes around the room* I think I am morphing into a hygiene zealot.

Waittt...

I think I know the root of the issue.

I am becoming obsessed with numbers.

This is bad. REAL. BAD.

What if I turn into one of those OCD (Obssesive-Compulsive Disorder) people? Where I would go mad if I don't get to wash my hands 2-0 times a day? Where I would INSIST on lathering up that amount of times eventhough my hands are not dirty?

Hmmm...

You know what?

No need to be alarmed. I think I just like numbers =)

This book kicks off with,

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman of fortune and passable good looks amuses herself in London with fashion, philantropic works and flirtation, until a suitable gentleman makes an offer. I consider the pursuit of bonnets and a husband fairly alike - I do not want to acquire an item which will wear out and bore me after a brief acquaintance, and we must suit each other well."

A modern day classic, I peg it as the perfect marriage between Pride and Prejudice with The Shopaholic series, Sex and The City thrown in as an added bonus.

The Rules Of Gentility is highly amusing, with rotating perspectives from the lead couple, Philomena Wellesley-Clegg and Inigo Linsley.

Fighting the urge to fast-forward to the last two chapters as the plot progresses (It is a very bad habit, I confess. It cuts off the anticipation.), I hurriedly read through the book, laughed and felt along with it.

I daresay, chick-lits are usually not my inclination as a choice of read, but this book is based heavily on Jane Austen's masterpiece, who so happens to be one of my favourite authors of all time (I did mention that this book is inspired by Pride and Prejudice, did I not?).

I think my moolah well-spent. (I gave up a quarter of my Dior lipgloss savings for this book.)

---------------

P/S: I have been reading four books simultaneously during the flying holidays. Which is why I kept the review short, my brain needs to adapt and switch between the storyline of the books.

(I dedicate this post to my Worship Team.)

My dearest Worship Team,

My sincere thanks to you for bearing and putting up with me, supporting me all the way and most importantly, serving Him with all your heart.

Seeing such attitudes and enthusiasm, it spurs me on. It fires me up.

As I watched the church fall in worship to the King, swept into His arms of love, it evokes unspeakable joy in my heart.

I look around and am truly thankful to be given an opportunity to be on the platform with all of you. I am remarkably blessed.

I couldn't have done it without you, and we couldn't have done it without God.

This is my prayer for you,

I really like this.

Not quite suprising, some of her invaluable advice shared are spot-on and affirms that I am on the right track as well as I have given others fitting advice for the right path.

Fellow genteel women, my sisters-in-arms, gorgeous goddesses - Listen up, and listen good.

• Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
  
  
• Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
  
  
• Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
  
  
• If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve, then heck no, you can't 'be friends'.
  
  
• If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
  
  
• Don't stay because you think "It will get better". You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
  
  
• Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
  
  
• Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
  
  
• NEVER let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
  
  
• You cannot change a man's behaviour. Change comes from within.
  
  
• Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are, even if he has more education or is in a better job.
  
  
• DO NOT make him into a quasi-god. He is a man; nothing more, nothing less.
  
  
• NEVER let a man define who you are.
  
  
• NEVER borrow someone else's man.
  
  
• If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
  
  
• You should not be the one doing all the bending. Compromise is a two-way street.
  
  
• You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage.
  Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
  
  
• You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals.
  
  
• Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
  
  The Holy Grail of advices?
  
  
• NEVER move into his mother's house.

Modernity is fantastic. We are living in an age where everything is done in an instant, at the snap of our fingers.

Life is fast-paced, with more being achieved because the advancement of technology enables us to take dreaming up a notch, procreate reality in a different dimension than in the time of our grandparents.

I sincerely love it.

However, like it or not, that isn't always the case with God.

I am pretty sure most of the time, instant isn't a popular term in God's big book of vocabulary.

Last time I checked, patience was written in bold.

Due to the era we are living in, most of us complain even if we have to wait 30seconds longer at a fast-food outlet.

Likewise, we expect the same thing when we are asking from God, wherein direction is sought after or for an answered prayer.

We use the (what I coin to be) overrated proverb, Time Is Precious. We cook up excuses and say, it is our need when it is more of our want-s.

Learn to wait on Him, build reliance on Him.

Going ahead of God's timing will procure mistakes, sometimes costly mistakes.

When that happens, many a times regret floods in and the all too familiar "I wish I would have just be more patient and waited, instead of .........." would be uttered in a sombre tone.

Just as the waiting patiently part is vital, understand that God's timing does not necessarily align with a perfect fit to our desired timing.

Wait patiently all the same, because (I love this verse, found in Ecclesiastes 3:10. It has brought much joy to my heart)
"He has made everything beautiful in His time."

Waiting patiently and loving it,
M.

That's it!

I am very annoyed, it grates on my nerves, to visit blogs and have background songs blaring on my speakers.

Particularly if you bunch of nitwits have nincompoop sense of musical taste.

It irks me, it makes my blood boil.

I would hate to put my speakers on mute every single time I were to drop-by your page, because I would be listening to my preferred songs and at least I have the courtesy not to blast your ears with it. Only because I know, you wouldn't like it anyways. It is too refined and sophisticated for your puny brains to handle.

Do me and yourself a favour. Remove it. Then, the term 'civilised' can actually be labelled across your forehead.

The past has a way of weaving itself seamlessly into the present, paving its way into the future.

Someone once said, "You can let go of the past, but the past won't let go of you."

Make no mistake though, I am still a very avid fan of Tolkien's works. I read LOTR (all 3 books) once every year and I've been doing that for the past 5years. (I am slacking a little this year, I have yet to start on my annual ritual.)

If you are going bonkers with curiosity, I am referring to Legolas from the Lord Of The Rings trilogy.

I thought that he was incredibly good-looking, only to be severely disappointed when I saw the real Legolas (minus the shiny blond hair and piercing blue eyes).

I am way past that stage right now (meaning that I do not like boys, primarily pretty boys - examples of them: Zac Efron, Chace Crawford or even so-called cutesy David Archuleta.)

I go ga-ga over men like David Boreanaz (post-Buffy, ala Special Agent Seeley Booth in Bones), Patrick Dempsey (in Grey's Anatomy) and Daniel Craig (just the abs, really).

If I could turn back time, I would rather be swooning over the macho, swashbuckling, sword-wielding man =)

I am famed, notorious for being a bozo and making a fool out of myself.

It is not that I intend to be one. From what I can gather, most of the time I was just caught unaware at an act of total randomness or being a klutz.

I think we all have gone through the usual tripping on something and falling on our derrieres. Rather common, that one. I have lost count on the times my posterior has suffered and be taken refuge as my landing pad.

To be honest, I find some of my clumsiness and (unintended) foolish acts kinda funny.

I'd like to remember some of them, hence this post.

In an event where my memory fails me one day (It is bound to happen, a few years from now), I can still look back at my posts and have a good laugh.


Incident No.1: Dicksy the Dog

I swear, that is the dog's name (Not 100% positive about the spelling though).

I've always loved dogs, see.

My aunt had Dicksy and he was alright-cute. I loved to nuzzle up to my toys when I was a little girl, so Dicksy (looking like one) was about to receive the same treatment from me when he suddenly snapped.

That dog nearly bit my nose off, and left me with two holes for a nose (Harry Potter fans, the imagery is similiar to Voldemort).

My aunt shrieked loudly. My parents were furious but amused. I, however, was traumatised.

Silly Dick.


Incident No.2: Quick, Duck!

To say that I disliked school would be an understatement. I despised more than half of the subjects taught.

Reaching age 17, I was over the moon when one of my friends could actually drive.

The day finally came when we had a completely free day, no lessons were ongoing. My friend proposed that we grab some sustanence as breakkie and do a little sightseeing.

I was thrilled. The lot of us cramped into her automobile, had the radio on full blast, singing at the top of our voices.

I noticed a policeman ahead of us. Fearing that we would all get our butts in trouble for playing truant and face demerit consequences (as we were in pinafores during what was supposed to be 'school hours'), I shouted, "Quick, duck for cover!" (It was reflex.)

My mates started laughing non-stop and one of them said, "Even if we all ducked, our chauffeur is still in uniform. We would be in trouble nonetheless."

That became our constant joke. Till this day, when I regale the incident in my mind, I would throw my head back and laugh aloud.

Ahh, the good times.


Incident No.3: Squint-Eyed Embarassment

(Note: This particular incident is not to mock, or disrespect.)

One of my church members had a serious bout of cross-eye.

It was bad, bad as in when she is actually talking to you, her peepers would have this faraway look to the east (Not exactly east, it was very compass-like. You wouldn't know which way she was looking.)

She was standing in front of me and chatting away, dishing anecdotes.

Since she did not refer to me by name, I naturally assumed she was talking to someone else (I have my manners. I would never intrude uninvited into a conversation.).

Mistake on my part? I never bothered to look over my shoulder.

Melissa: *stammers* Uhhhh, yup. Sure is. Would you mind repeating it again? My mind (my eyes, actually) was somewhere else.


I think she was a little hurt that I wasn't paying attention.

Who's to blame? It is not my fault that she didn't look me in the eye and referred to me by name. Nor is it her fault that her eyes tend to stray east-ward.

Cross-eyed people make my life a tad bit more challenging, I must say.


Incident No.4: Flying Shoe

This happened in an outing with my youth group, during a trip to the bowling alley.

I was all pumped up for it, as I haven't been bowling for years.

Upon reaching the counter, I realised my shoe size was no longer available. Itching to bowl, I laced up a pair of shoes, ignoring the difference of one shoe size.

I chose the ball I wanted and was on my way to show off my bowling chops.

I took a couple of steps back, swung my hand back and jogged lightly to the lane.

Along with the bowling ball - my shoe flew, did a little somersault in the air and landed right into the middle of the lane.

My entire youth group roared with laughter; the guy-in-charge was having a hard time trying to keep a straight face as he retrieved my shoe for me.

Thing is, my shoe-flying incident didn't only happen once. It happened twice.

Needless to say, I stayed away from the particular bowling alley for almost a year.


Incident No.5: Stuck!

Gals love all things beautiful.

As much as I hate to admit it, most of the time I prefer gorgeous but less practical heels over proper, not toe-pinching and stable footwear.

The reason? Vanity's sake. Because, not only does it add miles to my height, it makes my feet look dainty.

I was to sing with my friends for my church's anniversary. My choice of shoes? My sexy black lace heels.

I walked up to the platform, reached out for my mike when I realised one of my stiletto heel was caught in the gaps.

Desperate to tug it out, I maintained my calmness and tried to inconspicuously wiggle my feet to free the trapped heel. It didn't work.

The intro to the song was played, I had no choice but to begin singing, with half of my body lower than the other.

After the deed was done, my friend had to bend down, allowing me to stabilise myself with one hand on his shoulder while he emancipated my heel.

This happened in front of a 300-400 person crowd.

T'was very, very embarassing.

My only consolation was that I did not topple over while trying to worm my foot out.

That would have been epic embarassment.

When high-powered book editor Margaret faces deportation to her native Canada, the quick-thinking exec declares that she's actually engaged to her unsuspecting put-upon assistant Andrew, who she's tormented for years. He agrees to participate in the charade, but with a few conditions of his own. The unlikely couple heads to Alaska to meet his quirky family and the always-in-control city girl finds herself in one comedic fish-out-of-water situation after another. With an impromptu wedding in the works and an immigration official on their tails, Margaret and Andrew reluctantly vow to stick to the plan despite the precarious consequences.

(Source: IMDb)

I am not a big fan and staunch believer of rom-coms.

I prefer those soppy love movies, The Notebook is the best thus far. Find me one which will make me weep and get all snotty to that extent, and I will declare it a contender. Till then, I remain unmoved.

Let the record state that it is not because this 5'4 sharp-tongued but otherwise chatty lass is cold and unfeeling. It is because she has pledged to be an undyingly devoted realist.

But, I must say for a rom-com (My all-time, still unbeatable favourite is My Best Friend's Wedding), The Proposal is one to watch.

The movie maintains its element as a rom-com, yet it is not corny as to the likes of its predecessors (Four Christmases - utter disaster, The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, 17 Again - Zac Efron is such a pretty boy. Ugh...).

The chemistry between Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds is delightful and easy on the eyes. I also laughed, a whole lot I might add, at the witty retorts and punchy lines (though most of those watching are less participative. I am placing a conjecture that it is due to their lack of comprehension.).

Not to forget, Reynold's puppy-dog expressions are immensely adorable (Anyone who is able to resemble the cuteness of Max is a genius).

One downside, which made me squirm in my seat and understand the expression 'It makes my skin crawl'.

I point accusingly at jack-of-all-trades Ramone. The burlesque dance routine he did, made me shield my eyes from the screen and blushed to the hue of a ripe tomato. Thankfully (for me), the cinema's lightings are dimmed.

I almost forgot. The best part of the movie? The uber cute Samoyed puppy, who goes by the name Kelvin in the movie. So. Darn. Adorable.

Rating: 3/5

I used to have Post-Its stuck on my mirrors and walls, precious words of wisdom scribbled on them.

Usually, they are quotes I love. Or, words which have left a deep imprint in my heart that I never want to forget.

I was sifting through the scraps of Post-Its and itty-bitty pieces of papers, torn at the edges but with life-changing words scrawled on them.

I am immortalising one of my dear favourites here, today - for it to be an unceasing reminder to all of us.