I've been meaning to finish this entry for the longest time (I know I say this all the time. Truthfully, it has been sitting abandoned as a draft for months).

However, I am going to need actual free time to plop in front of my computer, have a cup of peppermint tea accompanying me and not worry about the 1001 things bugging me to complete.

I am going to try to mention as many as I can today. If I do miss out on anything, be on a lookout for a sequel.

1. Coloured or patterned lingerie under sheer or semi-transparent clothes
   
   It is not the least bit sexy, it is plain slutty.
   
   If you have chosen to wear a sheer number, have the decency to wear dark (read: black) lingerie instead of colourful (like fushcia, for one *rolls eyes*) ones.
   
   
2. High-waisted anything
   
   

   
   
   It is said to add dimension and clich your waist.
   
   Oh yes, it does add dimension - both downplaying and amplifying the wrong place, the wrong way.
   
   It makes your derriere look extraordinarily huge, as though you are wearing a soggy and unchanged diaper.
   

3. Leggings
   
   Lately, these have been seen as common.
   
   Undoubtedly one of the most heinous of all fashion crimes, not only are they morbid looking, they make you appear short and stout.
   
   With the additional lace, bows or ribbons, I can only look with contempt and shake my head with disbelief.
   
   

4. Capris and Cuffed Pants
   
   
   
   Women of the world, ladies, listen up.
   
   There are only 3 types of pants: Short shorts (measuring to half the length of your thigh), Shorts (grazing just before your knee) and Pants (its length should reach your heels).
   
   Same application goes for skirts and dresses, they go by a different set of names though. They are: Skimpy, Perfection and Dressy.
   
   Capris extend to about the midpoint of the calf, resembling an unfinished pair of pants. Whereas, with cuffed pants, it looks like you are inconspicously trying to show more leg. Instead, it makes you appear stunted.
   
   

5. Aladdin pants
   
   
   
   It is described as 'flowy'. I call it inflated.
   
   It looks as though you are so insecure of those thighs, you resort to inflating the pants you don.
   
   Here's the sad truth, those thighs are not concealed. Not even by a milimetre.
   
   Instead, you have replaced the entire lower half of your body with a pair of joined sausages.
   
   
6. Shapeless dresses
   
   
   
   By nature, I am a tee, jeans or shorts and flip-flops gal.
   
   Though, there are occasions where I am required to dress up and there are also occasions where I want to dress up.
   
   When that moment comes, I am a stickler for body-hugging apparels.
   
   I am not going to have this figure for long (unless I opt for adoption, liposuction and a tummy tuck or subject myself to a lifelong affair with the gym).
   
   So, while I have it, I am going to parade and flaunt it.
   
   What is the point in having womanly curves and keeping them under wraps?
   
   Makes one wonder what is actually under that shapeless sack.
   
   
7. Ankle booties
   
   
   
   For this pair of shoes, it is paramount to channel the look (read: You have to look the part.).
   
   That means bleached peroxide blond hair, slender and nearly skinny legs and heaps of attitude to pull it off (think Agyness Deyn and Victoria Beckham).
   
   Other than that, you'd just look like a tacky try-hard.
   
   
8. Chunky grandma heels
   
   Like the ones retailed at Scholl and Clark, complete with huge ankle straps.
   
   Gah, those are atrocious, an uber fashion faux pas.
   
   There are only two sorts of heels, stilettos or wedges. Anything else or in-between is considered non-existent.
   
   
9. Showing brassiere straps
   
   It is a device that is hooked onto your underwear - which means it is supposed to remain under your clothes.
   
   Invest in a good strapless bra that won't slide (Psst, La Senza has awesome ones).
   
   Or else, don't wear anything without sleeves (That goes without saying - spaghetti tops and tubes in particular).
   
   
10. Gaudy accessories
    
    Embellishments are cool, accessories are supposed to bring out your outfit.
    
    In adding definition and perfecting your look, rule of thumb is 'Less Is More'.
    
    Which means, don't go the whole nine yards and have on earrings, bracelets and necklaces unless you are a Neanderthaline from Stone Age.
    
    Sunglasses on anybody (except Usher) during the day or night (with the exception of driving or frolicking on the beach purposes) is also frowned upon and strictly forbidden.