Tea and Cake

Thoughts on Life and Death

I woke up this morning, sat up and spent a good 30 minutes pondering on life and death.

There is something sobering about how life and death works. I find it disturbing, intricate and interesting all as one.

Life in itself is rich. The opportunity to live life, to wake up every morning and waft in the scent of a brand new day is incredibly fulfilling.

Yet, I am frequently plagued with the truth that where I am today, it will not be this way for eternity. It is not meant to last till the end of time. It is not a place where I am commissioned to live forever.

In death, there is sorrow, heartache and a deep sense of loss. In every death, there is mourning. However, in situations like that, I can attest to the comfort of God upon my grieving heart and settle in the promise that that person is dancing in the arms of my Heavenly Daddy.

Today, it struck a chord deep within me. My time here is short, life is whiling away. There is an urgency in my spirit, the time is now.

The hour has arrived, the clock is ticking and there is so much to do. We all have so much to do.

With that, I am so challenged to sow into everlasting purposes. To not get caught up with temporal treasures and be lulled into earthly pleasures.

Instead, have abiding causes for my Loved One and to carry an interminable mandate: To be a radical believer for Him and be an ambassador of His love.

CS Lewis summed up my heart by saying this,

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is a fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing."

I long for the real thing (as CS Lewis puts it). I often wonder of how magnificent the sights, how glorious the presence.

Till then, whilst I am here, there is much to do.

The race has begun.

I am in it, you are in it and I pray that it will be your heartbeat to finish strong; keeping your faith.

For Him,

M.

Braveheart

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"Evil may ferment, wrath may boil, and pride may foam, but the brave heart of Holy confidence trembles not."

Charles Spurgeon

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Unfailing Love

I am reminded, time and time again, that I can never out-love God.

Just as I began to tilt my head heavenward, look towards the beautiful sky which is decorated with fluffy white clouds, I let the rays of the sunbeam hit my face. I savoured it, not wanting to let the moment pass.

In that short moment, in my heart, I sensed a culmination of love. So much so that my heart was not only flooded, it began to overflow.

Love consumed me, there seemed to be too much of it; yet fulfilment and contentment came just as easily.

I find it pretty difficult to express the state of my heart right now. For once, I am struggling for words. Grappling for fitting words.

All I can say is I love You, my Awesome God. I love You, more than my life itself.

I was having my daily conversation with Him. My ears were whispered into, to turn to Psalm 33.

I began to read and upon reaching verses 20-22, I just began to tear up.

It was a wonderful trickling of joyful tears, coming out of a heart brimming with immense love.

Here is what Psalm 33:20-22 (emphasis added) says,

“We wait in hope for the LORD;
He is our help and our shield.

In Him our hearts rejoice,
For we trust in His holy name

May Your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord
Even as we put our hope in you.”

Unfailing love.

A love that lasts forever, a love that knows no bounds, a love that completes, a love that never runs dry, a love that grow stronger with each passing day, a love that covers all sin, a love that is flawless and perfect, a love undeserved yet lavished upon, a love so great that nothing – here or beyond – could ever come close to anything like it.

It is that unfailing love that has captured my heart.

And, to that capture of unfailing love, I will my life to. Always and forever.

Note To God - Charice Pempengco

(Verse 1)
If I wrote a note to God
I would speak what's in my soul
I’d ask for all the hate to be swept away
For love to overflow

If I wrote a note to God
I’d pour my heart out on each page
I’d ask for war to end
For peace to mend this world

(Pre-Chorus)
I’d say, I’d say, I’d say

(Chorus - 1st half)
Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love, cause love is over due
And it seems like so much is going wrong
On this road, we’re on

(Verse 2)
If I wrote a note to God
I’d say, Please help us find our way
End all the bitterness
Put some tenderness in our hearts

(Pre-Chorus)

(Chorus - Full)
Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love cause love is over due
And it looks like we haven’t got a clue
Need some help from you

Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is going wrong
On this road we’re on

(Bridge)
No, no no no
We can’t do this on our own

(Chorus - Full)

(Bridge)

(Ending)
If I wrote a note to God

P/S: Beautiful song, breathtaking voice. I teared up almost immediately.

Happy Birthday, Debra

Dear Dee Dee,

It has been two years (already?) and our friendship hasn't even taken a backseat.

If I were to compare it to anything, I would say our friendship is like lavender. Rows and rows of lavender. Absolutely beautiful and incredibly sweet-smelling.

I see you 5 days in a week, text you on the remaining 2 days and the times we catch up amounts to almost 6 days in one whole week (and on the 7th day, I rest).

You have been my source of joy, tons of laughter and heaps of fun. I am so very blessed to call you my dearest friend.

Happy Birthday, love.

Tons of love, many hugs and kisses,
Mellie.

Family and Friends

The Ideal Definition of Lounging

Comfortable armchairs; fantastic for curling up with a book, lots of plush cushions and surrounded by favourite reads.

I can't think of a better way to unwind and relax.

Scrabble Monday

I can't say I'm too sorry playing it all by myself. Only because, I am winning every game. =p

I Am So Loved

37 I Love You-s.

I can't help but feel incredibly loved right now. And yes, this is for remembering (gloating might be included) purposes.

One of the greatest blessings of God upon my life (aside from my family) is fantastic friends; a circle of close-knit, almost family people. Those whom I talk to on a daily basis, text when I come across anything remotely interesting, share my bed with, converse for hours over cups of latte or tea and mostly, those whom I trust with my life (secrets included).

I love you too, dearest.

Test of Faith

Of late, I think that my posts have been rather personal. However, I believe that some things are worth sharing; to inspire, to encourage and to strengthen.

The December schedule was out, I am to lead worship today. I was hyped up, so enthusiastic about it. The first few days, I couldn’t wait for Sunday to arrive; rubbing my hands together gleefully at the thought of it.

Come Friday - between rushing to meet assignment deadlines and hunger pangs - I drove to seek for food, completely forgot and turned into a junction, which is a double-line (translation: I was not supposed to make a turning into that particular road).

Unfortunately for me, the police were lying in wait that day and I was flagged to the side of the road.

The wheels of motion were already set; hence the officer–in-charge carried it out by the book. Reluctantly, however.

Playing dumb, I innocently waited for him to pop the question. He did. And, I replied, “No. I am a Christian, I will not succumb to doing that.”

Disappointment made apparent, he decided to give it one more shot by saying, “Well then, I have to do what I have to do. If only you could float me with some cash, this could all go away.”

I remained defiant, maintaining my stand.

As the summon was issued, I couldn’t help but feel crushed. My morale plunged into disappointment.

The summon clutched in my fist, I slowly trudged back to my car. As I sat myself down, tears began streaming down my face.

I didn’t know what caused the waterworks.

All I knew was at that moment in time, something transpired in my heart and my mind could not comprehend what it was, but I knew it was a consummation of love. It was something so precious, so tangible, so palpable.

I had to drive a distance to regain my composure before making my way back.

Upon reaching home, I scrambled to my room, knelt before my King and proceeded to have the most beautiful 2 hours of my entire life.

All I can say from this incident is:

1. NEVER EVER cross a double-line.
2. More importantly, NEVER forget that the double-line exists.

I am merely digressing, for humour purposes (If that actually worked).

This post is not meant to bluster, boasting my own song of being ‘holier than thou’.

See, this incident was a test of faith.

No one was around at that moment to witness if I did decide to perform that act. I will honestly say, there was that flickering thought, “How easy would it have been, if I had just settled it then and there.”

There is a price to pay, to do the right thing.

This incident, this test of faith costs me RM 180. In your walk of life, it may be something else.

I’ll tell you something else more important: Pay that price (literally, in my case).

Because, I am sure I passed with flying colours.

The result of this little test of faith is an experience so awesome; nothing could ever quite amount to it. It is utterly priceless.

I am so ruined for all else.

The Most Beautiful 2 Hours of My Life

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In my not understanding, You have never been more real to me.

I will give you my highest praise and deepest worship, no circumstance is going to hold me down. You still reign, my precious Lord.

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Desires and Dreams

As much as I prefer face-to-face communication, every now and then, having an IM conversation has been proven beneficial for my mental health.

I was conversing with a friend, and perhaps, I should share a portion of my dreams in life here. For solidifying purposes, to not forget it and some day if I need direction, I could look through the chronicles of Chatty Lass and be sure to make the right decision.

You see, I enjoy cultivating and nurturing my imagination. In a way, it is healthy. Time and again, it provided escapism from the harsh reality into a world of endless possibilities and countless dreams. Suffice to say, I name day(or night)dreaming as one of my favourite pastimes.

So, here goes.

What I am sharing today comes straight from my heart, no fancy trimmings. They happen to be my deepest desires in life, straight from the pages of my journal.

The process of translating matters of the heart into words is no simple task, and please understand that I don’t ever do this lightly.

“I want to be able to spend the rest of my days doing what I truly love. At this point in my life, I realised that all I want to do is sing for God. All within me aches to do that and if all I have to do is that, I would. Forget the money involved whilst pursuing the corporate ladder, forget the possible fame, forget the opportunities to rub shoulders with distinguished names. I do not want to be lulled into the temporal pleasures of a dying world, but to sow into an eternal kingdom. I think that the highest calling in life is to serve my King, and I wouldn’t give it up for anything in this world.

I want to be able to write, impact lives through my pennings. When I am writing, I need to be in an enclosed space, no disturbances and most definitely, no unwanted noise. Selfish, I guess. Unhealthy, I’ve been told. But, that is how my being functions. I’ve tried to break this habit, but to no avail. I want to write a book, maybe. I desire to write weekly columns, to inspire every person alive to cherish and celebrate life; never bordered or stifled by this society’s status bar, but marching on forward with unflinching resolve.

I hope to do away with the hustle-bustle of the city life, and embrace a more relaxed lifestyle. No packed schedules and appointment dates, no crowded places, no overachievers to aid the growth of a stressful, crowd-pleasing society. God willing, I want to have a little place (I have never liked a palatial mansion-like abode) strategically located to have quick access to the city but at the same time, peaceful and tranquil. Close proximity to the beach or a park, and I would be in haven.

With that, I desire to be paired up to someone who would be supportive of what I do and am going to do. To share this life and serve my Beautiful Jesus with that person, and to do that with him for the rest of our days. He must love Him more than he loves me, not the other way around.

If I were to have children, I am going to bring them up in an environment of love. My personal belief is that, “It is impossible to spoil a child with too much love.” I want to bring my children up without the hassle of suffocating customs, because I have no liking whatsoever for that. Mannerisms are of utmost importance, but I want them to grow up into their own person.”

As I transferred the details of my journal into cyberspace, I noticed that the ink on the pages were smeared and blotty. My vision got cloudy.

I raised my hands to my cheeks and realised they were damp.

What Holidays (Cancelled classes, really) Are For