It has been a tough week. I don't know what to feel, I don't know how to respond. I don't know if I had indeed made the right choice being uprooted from my comfortable patch on the island and transferred to a city. I feel as though I have not slept in years and all I feel like doing is closing my eyes; for a long long time.




I don't know if I had done any part of the first half of that chorus. At one time, I was fully convinced that I made a difference, that I meant something, that I carried change in my heart and life where I went. Now, not so.




Gift - What a beautiful word. I love gifts.

I always believe that when a gift is kept or restrained, its' purpose is defeated. A gift is never a gift until it is shared. Let me re-phrase that. A gift can never be a gift unless it is shared.

I once had a dream - to share my gift, to pour out of myself completely into ministry with the gifts that He has entrusted to me. I seem to be doing none of that now.

Last Sunday as Pr. Kenneth shared about loving Him more than the gifts and blessings that He has placed upon our lives and in our hands, I teared up. Because, I wrote about it once and, it was a difficult post to write. Because, I never imagined it being so tough. It convicted me, yes. More than that, my heart misses doing what it loves.




I believe with all my heart that there is more to life than this.

I choose to believe that the dreams that I have, it's real and not an illusion; that it will materialise and come to pass in this lifetime.

I want to believe that I'm meant to be dreaming those dreams; or at least be able to share it to someone who will identify with the dreams and take on the baton if it is not mine to carry till the end.