Women all over the world would pelt me with saucepans and stone me with their cakes (Hey, I just made up an oxymoron!) for this post, but the time has finally come. The vault of secrecy has to be unlocked, because the truth needs to be told.

Men of the world, guys, doods, boys... All those with XY chromosomes in your DNA - Listen up and listen good.

Learn to memorise these nine words, take them to heart and teach yourself to recognise them. It will save you a whole. lot. of. trouble, believe me.

With no further delay, I unleash to you

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The 9 Most Deadly Words in the English Language Used by Women

P/S: Kindly ignore the profanity found in no.8 and substitute the explanation with "You're an idiot/moron/jerk.