My desires and passions, I’ve always said very little of them. I am not particularly fond of verbalising it, unless a situation demands for it.

However, last Saturday, my heart just could not contain it anymore.

I was praying with my youths in our weekly Prayer Meeting when my passion to see them being raised up in the ‘whole measure of the fullness of Christ’ (Ephesians 4:13) overwhelmed me.

I have been thinking of alternatives to primp it up in the best way I know how, but I think it doesn’t come quite close to what my heart feels.

I tried to regain my composure. I tried (very hard) to stop the waterworks. Nothing worked.

I wept. Rather, my heart and all that is within me just wept and wept.

For the rest of the Youth Service, my heart was overflowing and tears were continually running down my face.

For months, I have been praying and seeking.

Asking for my life to be used in ANY way He wishes, so long as my youths (whom I love dearly) would have an encounter with Him that would turn their life around – that they will rise up to be radical for Christ, changing their world for His glory.

I have not yet received a definite answer.

But all I now know is I must grow in a much deeper intimacy with Him, love and meditate on His word and most importantly, live a life worthy of the calling.

Moving on to the latter part of Saturday, I have begun to understand what it is to ‘worship the Lord in the splendour of His holiness’ (Psalm 29:2).

I’ve often wondered how it is, to be captivated for hours, just ‘gazing upon the beauty of the Lord’ (Psalm 27:4, paraphrased).

I wanted to experience it, to feel the weight of His glory come down and to sense that raw tangibility. I desire it, I have experienced it to some level but I was aching for more.

It came to pass (I believe that it is just the beginning of the journey, a tip of the iceberg, a teaser if I may, a pre-taste, before grand reveal) for me when I was found prostrating before Him.

It was beyond anything I’ve ever felt. It was so precious. Unapologetically, it was magnificent.

IF my life is to be destined as a spiritual platform built for others to have that one genuine encounter with Him, I give my life to that cause and calling.

I believe that this is true, “The heart is capable of responding to things the mind can't yet perceive” (Bill Johnson).


For His glory,
Melissa.