"I don't fit in," I sighed into the phone as I brushed a stray strand of hair from my face. It was a half-and-half, a cross between self-pity and indignation after an eventful week. Little Mermaid and I chatted for a bit more, and after a round of uplifting words, we hung up.
That night, in the shower, I recalled of a book I read in passing as a first-year university student. In her book Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History, Laurel Thatcher Ulrich outlines the stories of women who made an indelible mark in history. She presents us with a cross section of women who not only used history to argue against the limited definition of womanhood, but who also broached the subject of equality and breached its divide.
Thoughts bobbed like gaudy horses on a brightly-lit carousel - what does well-behaved truly mean, who decides its definition, how do we break that polarising mould - so much so that the deluge of unanswered questions began to cloud my vision.
And then, all of a sudden, the music stopped and the (not-so) merry-go-round drew to a grinding halt. The blurry haze of fairy lights rolled away and there it was, that eureka moment in all of its brilliance - It’s all right to not fit in.
Just let that sink in for a moment. Take a deep breath and say those words out loud. Give it access into the deep recesses of accumulated hurt, pain, and rejection you’ve carefully stowed away.
For most of my life, I have struggled. With being demure, poised, and composed. With repressing my feelings. With swallowing my opinions. With keeping silent. With labels slapped onto my boisterous personality. In essence, I have battled against society’s confining definition of fitting in and being well-behaved (women should be seen and not heard comes to mind).
So, I decided - I don’t fit in, and that’s absolutely, most definitely all right.
I find it fitting (pun totally intended) to reprise a little something I wrote almost five years ago on this day, but with a little edit:
To girls who don't fit in with the contemporary checklist that society sets for us,
To ladies who have a mind of their own and are not afraid to speak it,
To women who wear your expressions on your face and heart on your sleeve,
To my sisters with a voice and something to tell the world,
I'm reminded today that the world needs a rebel and an outlaw.
The world doesn't need another blaring horn with no conviction and reason. Our world needs someone who will not be afraid to speak the truth, even when it hurts and comes at the cost of our pride.
The world doesn't need another ignorant simpleton who mistakes silence for obedience. Our world needs someone who will know that courage requires us to make and take a stand.
The world doesn't need another settler. Our world needs change.
If taking a stand, holding your own, and being true to one's self would mean that one would be labeled (inexorably) as a rebel or an outlaw, then perhaps that is what is wrong with our world today.
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To every woman, from this day forth,
Don’t fit in. Instead...
Because, no one else can do, be, and own you better than you.
Happy International Women’s Day!
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